I have poked marketing fun at Microsoft’s Dinosaur Ads and Oracles “hot pluggable” EAI platform, but Dell just beat them with, “Get the mobile, fashion-forward student laptop.”

“This personalized laptop reflects your sense of style and keep you connected to fun, friends and assignments, no matter where the school day takes you.”

Wow, check it out man, FREE COLOUR!

I know after being in this industry for 17 years, I have a little bit of cynic in me, of the Dilbert kind, but honestly, Dell is not only marketing to an ever younger audience, (reminds of Camel cigarette ads for kids), but it is to the point of trying to make computers be as hip as skateboards (psst hey Dell, never going to happen!).  Note the ‘Street” version above.  I wonder if I got one of those that I would develop a bad boy, street attitude.  Oh wait a minute, most of my co-works already think that about me...

"More You. Inside and Out. Personalize your Dell STUDIO with ‘Designed for Dell” accessories – the brands you trust customized to match the colour, fit and style of your system.”

Never would I believe such branding could be applied to a... computer?  Now for one moment, I will admit that I was always attracted to Alienware computers as being a closet gamer, plus they are cool – and the marketing and branding is slick.  But I will always associate Dell with business computers – that’s their brand to me.  Why would they jeopardise their business brand to go after the skateboard market?  Share value?  Pfffttt!

“A cool campus accessory that is ready to move.”  Honestly Dell, just what is this marketing message supposed to convey?  That a computer is a cool campus accessory for woman?  That it is the new purse?  And what about that locker...  Show me one student that has a pink fur lined shelf for her books.  Even my five year daughter feels pink fur is on the outs.  What is that picture of?  Of her and her Mom when she was little or her and her daughter or ??  This is so wrong.  My wife says, “Who are they kidding?  Computers are supposed to be tools to help people and now it has become a fashion statement – an image conscience thing.  F*&!  - there is no stopping these marketing people.”  OK, that was a quote from my lovely wife when I showed her this.  She said a lot more, but none that I can repeat here It is embarrassing to me being in the computer industry to be associated with this.  Good thing I don’t have any Dell computers.

 “Make Your Dorm Room The Centre Of Fun”

‘Whether they’re an aspiring botanist or a fan of film noir, this PC will bring inspiration and entertainment to their dorm room for a fantastic price.”

Oh man, I can tell you that when I was taking computer courses in college, my dorm room was the center of fun and inspiration, but there were no computers in it

“Handles Whatever Your World Throws At It.”

Dell, what happened to your brand?  I picked up a Globe and Mail on Monday and you had this flyer in it.  It has changed my view of Dell forever – lost all credibility to me.  How can I ask my business customers to take your brand seriously when you are all trying to be all hip and designer like to a younger generation?  Worse yet, the ads are seemingly designed by someone in marketing that seems to have no clue about that demographic.  That’s aside from being pretty money grubbing going after an ever younger audience – pretty soon we will see Dell ads for grade school kids in summer camp...

Someone else from the fashion industry wonders about the same thing, but in reverse, "Why Would Dell Hold a Fashion Show.”  I can only hope that this new low in computer marketing is just a total oversight on Dell’s behalf and they will say it is an experiment gone awry and turn back to what they do best – build practical home and business computers for the masses.  But somehow I doubt it.  With all of this advertising comes the sunk cost of designs and tooling to produce all of these free color laptops. Bad Luck Dell.